Happy Birthday Zachary!

Today is my nephew Zachary's second birthday.  Many of you know that Zach died in February in a terrible car accident.  It has been a sad year for us, especially for my sweet sister Gillian and her family.  Many times I have wondered what this day will be like for Gillian, how hard it will be to celebrate the day of his birth with him no longer here.  They decided to go to his grave and send "spiritual gifts" to Zach.  She wanted to focus on the positive, the ways her family has become stronger and better during this last year.  She encouraged her kids to write notes to Zach and tell him ways they are going to improve their lives so they can all be worthy of living with him again forever.  Then they attached the notes to balloons and let them fly heavenward toward Zachary.  She invited us all to join in, wherever we were, and send our own balloons and notes to Zachary.  So at noon today, we went into our backyard and sent Zach our present.  Brady wrote his own note, which said something like this..."Dear Zachary,  I hope you have a good time in heaven.  I can't wait to see you in heaven someday.  Happy birthday."  Taylor dictated her letter to me..." Dear Zach, happy birthday.  Loves, kisses, Merry Christmas" and she signed her own name.  Avery can't talk, but I guessed that her letter would say..."Dear Zach, thanks for hanging out with me.  I miss you!"  I let Zach know that I am trying to be a better mom and have more patience.  I want to enjoy these 3 little blessings as much as I can while I have them.  His accident has really impressed upon me how precious life is and how all of us really only have a short time to do what it is we are supposed to do here.  Some of us just have a little longer than others.  When I was at the store today getting the balloons, the person helping me asked what the special occasion was.  When I told her about Zach and what we were doing she got misty eyed and said what a wonderful idea it was.  Then she said, "You know what happened was God's will.  Your nephew had done all he needed to do here."  I truly believe that.  While I don't understand exactly why stuff like this happens, I do believe that there is a plan for each one of us.

The cool part about today is that everyone in my family stopped what they were doing and participated.  I have five sisters:  2 live in Utah, 2 live in Texas and 1 lives in California near my parents.  My dad had set-up a conference call line so we all could call in and hear each other release our balloons at the same time.  That's an amazing feat since we are scattered throughout the country with 17 kids between all of us.  Also, Gillian said they had about 14 families at the gravesite with them.  I am so impressed with her friends and the support they give her.  They are her surrogate family and I appreciate them taking such good care of her on a daily basis, especially since we are all so far away from each other.  And lastly, it was really neat of our good friends the Strouds to come over and participate with us in our backyard.  Shelby has enough personal experience with loss and hardship to know how important these things are.  If you want to read more about Gillian and her family, her blog address is www.ourashtonmoments.blogspot.com.

Since I was too preoccupied to take photos of today's experience, I will leave you with a picture of Zach exactly one year ago today on his first birthday.  What a sweet, beautiful little boy.  We love and miss you Zach!